Hell Hath No Fury
by Bolt of Tien Mu
Summary: Coming after "Hearts," this is a long romp centering on Kurama's school life, his fan club, and events leading to babies from eggs, marriages, and all manner of chaos. Shonen ai, yaoi, three-way romantic relationships, fluff, massive silliness.
1. Prelude to Fury

Author's Notes: Oh maya, what have I done? This is the fluffiest thing I've ever envisioned. Inari save me. The three girls are Kurama's classmates and their names are, translated, Orange Spring Leaf, Lemon Flower Bud, and Lime Fruit. Oh yeah, I'm messed up. And is there a thinly veiled reference to Itsuki in here? Oh yes, there is. See if you can spot it! As usual, YYH belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi/Shueisha, Studio Pierrot, and so on.

Warnings: Fluff, evil fangirls.

Hell Hath No Fury... Part One: Prelude to Fury  
A Yu Yu Hakusho Yaoi Fic by Kitsuneko

Haruha Orenko, Tsubomi Reko, and Kinomi Raimuko sat around the living room table, sipping melon soda and chatting nervously.

"The school is holding a autumn dance. It's supposed to be a costume party," Orenko asked.

"Do you think Minamino-kun will be going?" Raimuko asked off hand, as if she had hardly noticed that the conversation was taking place, pushing back her green-streaked hair. Orenko shook her head sadly.

"I doubt it. He doesn't seem terribly interested in things like that."

"Then it's just up to one of us to ask him!" Reko proclaimed forcefully, making the bleached blonde sections of her short black hair puff out, like a cat's fur. "I'm getting something to eat. Anyone want anything in particular?" She scrambled to her feet and walked over to the kitchen. Passing the staircase, she spotted a pair of half hidden eyes watching her.

"Sutoko, what do you want?"

"Ano, nee-chan, can I go to the dance too?"

"Ch'. You're too young. Go back upstairs and quit bugging my friends." With a sigh, the younger girl left her hiding spot and climbed up the stairs to her room.

"Ne, Reko, your sister is so cute," Orenko said cheerfully, barely waiting until she was out of sight.

"She is not. Now, what do you want to eat?"

"Do you have something sweet?"

"Sure. Raimuko, how does sweet sound?"

"Hm? Oh, anything's fine." Reko rolled her eyes and grabbed a bag of candy from the pantry.

"Weh shoo ah-"

"What? I can't understand a word you're saying," Orenko interrupted. Reko took the yellow lollipop out of her mouth and started again.

"We should all ask him. There's a better chance that one of us will get him that way."

"But, but we can't ask him! I mean, it's Minamino-kun. He's never accepted anyone's intentions." Orenko was flushed with anticipated nervousness and she tugged at the ends of her black pigtails. Raimuko looked like she had fallen asleep sitting.

"You've got to be kidding me! What kind of fangirl are you? And Raimuko, are you even _listening_?" Slowly, without showing any signs of being startled, Raimuko turned away from the blank wall and faced her friends. "Well, what do you have to say about this?" There was a long pause as they waited for Raimuko's latest statement of wisdom.

"Don't be hasty," she drawled, pausing after each word. Orenko clapped in approval.

"Arigato! We're so lucky to have someone smart like you in our club."

"Ugh, I can't believe you two. Whatever. Let's get this project finished." _If they won't take action, I will. Minamino-kun will be mine!_

* * *

Reko walked confidently down the hall, in the direction of Minamino's locker. She didn't feel nervous at all, only a sense of driving purpose. She could feel her friends' eyes on her back, but this only encouraged her, determined to prove them wrong. As expected, the red haired idol was just stopping at his locker, preparing for Advanced Chemistry.

"Minamino-san," Reko called firmly, getting his attention.

"Ah, Tsubomi-san. Where are Haruha-san and Kinomi-san? It's rare to see you three separated."

"There was something I wanted to ask you."

"Oh, is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, actually. I was hoping you would accompany me to the autumn dance."

"My, you're getting an early start. The dance isn't for another three weeks."

"I didn't want to wait too long and give you short notice."

"Very wise. However, I too have planned in advance and have previous engagements for that night. I won't be able to attend. My apologies and my thanks for the invitation."

"I... see. Well, thank you. Ja ne." Reko walked away stunned. At the next intersection in the halls, Raimuko grabbed her arm and pulled her around the corner.

"I hope you have a plan to recover from that stunning defeat."

"Quiet, you."

"As members of the Itsumo L.O.V.E club-" Orenko started, about to launch into the club motto of love for Minamino and careful planning to succeed where other girls failed, but Reko held up a hand to silence her.

"I'll take care of it. Meeting adjourned."

* * *

Half blind with grief, Reko wandered the streets without care, lost in her thoughts. _There's got to be a way to make him go with me. Something to make him love me._

"Ah, ojoo-san, you look like you are having troubles of the heart. Could I interest you in some high quality love potions or lucky charms? Guaranteed to find you happiness!" Reko stopped when she realized the question was directed at her. She wrinkled her nose when she realized where she was. _How'd I get to this part of town?_ But the hawker had caught her interest and she crossed the street to his booth. He had his long, green (a shade closer to aqua than Raimuko's) hair pulled up into a ponytail and was adorned with gold jewelry. _Fruit_, Reko thought, but she didn't much care, provided he could help her.

"I need someone to fall in love with me. A specific someone."

"Aa, soo desu ka? Well, I have just the thing for you." He reached under the counter of his booth and pulled out a small potted plant. It had a few thin, onion-like leaves and a sturdy stock topped by an enormous, bulb-shaped flower.

"What?! If I thought flowers would help, I'd go to a regular flower shop! Stupid man," Reko sputtered and turned to leave.

"But this is no ordinary flower! Under the full moon, this flower will cause something wonderful to hatch in your intended's heart." Reko raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to convince her further.

"The full moon you say?"

"That's right! Just leave it for him to find, perhaps at his home. Then the plant will work its magic."

"Uh-huh. And just how much is this magic going to cost me?"

"Thirty dollars."

"Fat chance. Try again." The man sweatdropped. Forceful, wasn't she?

"But I forgot to mention our pretty-but-evil discount. Twenty dollars."

"Do you have a pretty-but-evil-and-walking-away discount?" The man looked defeated, dropping his head.

"For you, yes. Twelve, please. I gotta eat too, right?"

"Ch'. Here." She slipped the bills out of her purse, slapping them down on the counter and taking the plant.

"A pleasure doing business with you!" He called after her, then muttered _witch_ under his breath. Reko, on the other hand, was very pleased with her purchase and walked to Minamino's home with a bounce in her step.


	2. Like a New Parent

Author's Notes: Well, I didn't want to break it into smaller chapters (for the sake of the clever titles, mainly), but the volume of text that was going to be required put me into the Writer's Paralysis. You know, that thing where you know what you want to do and how to go about it, but there's just so bloody much do be done that you stare at the thing for hours and don't get a thing done _because_ you have so much to do. So this is the first of probably three chapters in the first section. Our boys share a peaceful morning at home, but the plot thickens as Reko's plan is set in motion. As usual, YYH belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi/Shueisha, Studio Pierrot, and so on.

Warnings: Fluff, shonen ai, faintest hint of yaoi possible.

Hell Hath No Fury... Part Two: Hell Hath No Fury like... A New Parent  
A Yu Yu Hakusho Yaoi Fic by Kitsuneko

"Hiei, would you go get the paper, please?" Hiei snorted and peeked his head into the kitchen.

"I got it yesterday! Make Yusuke do it!" Kurama sighed heavily. Every morning, the same thing, no matter which one he asked. Yusuke looked up from the table, where he had been half sleeping, waiting for breakfast to be served.

"Why should I have to do anything? I spent the past week housing you two."

"And Kurama did all the cooking and cleaning. Your mother didn't want to let him leave. What was it she said? Oh, that's right. 'Please, stay and be my son! I don't want that other one!'" Hiei snickered at him, now leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

"And that's why," Kurama calmly interjected, "you should do me the favor of getting the paper. Especially since _I_ am now housing _and_ cooking for you." Hiei huffed, but left to do as he was told. But at the last second, he looked into the room again.

"By the way, Kurama, nice apron." And he was gone. Kurama held out the edges of his white apron, which had little ruffles along the edge.

"What's wrong with it? It's my mother's, anyway." Yusuke just looked at him significantly. _You know what I think of it, but I'm not saying a word. I want to get breakfast this morning and not die._ Kurama sighed and turned back to the pot of miso soup on the stove. Yusuke seemed to have gone back to sleep and Kurama was left with peace and quiet in the early morning. Even on weekends, he insisted that the threesome woke up at a civilized hour, but he lessened the blow by providing a hot meal every day. On days like this, free from school and outside influences, Kurama felt like a house wife, caring for his spouses and home. But it was tempered by his time spent in the outside world and he found the situation not only acceptable, but increasingly necessary for his happiness.

"Fox, I thought you said you didn't like keeping plants in pots?" Hiei called as he reentered the house from the front door.

"I don't. Why do you ask?"

"There was a plant on the steps and I have no doubt that it is a demonic one. I assumed it was yours." He finished his explanation as he came into the kitchen, holding the potted plant in his hands with the requested newspaper under one arm.

"Let me see that." Kurama took the plant out of Hiei's hands and set it on the kitchen table. He waved Hiei over to the stove, so that he would continue stirring the soup, while Kurama carefully studied the specimen.

"I'm not sure I've ever seen this before. It looks like a few other plants I've known, but it can't actually be any one of those. I guess I'll have to keep it until I can determine what it is. We can't just leave it outside where a human could trigger whatever it does." Hiei grunted and turned control of the stove back over to Kurama, while Yusuke continued to attempt sleep. Only when Kurama set a series of steaming dishes before him did he manage to wake up fully.

"Hef, Kuwama," Yusuke mumbled around a mouthful of rice, but swallowed before continuing when he saw Kurama's disapproving look. "Uh, what was I saying?"

"How should we know, fool?" Hiei snapped.

"Oh! Right. Where is your mom? I haven't seen her all week."

"Oh, she had to go out of town on business."

"I guess that's how you get around being with us all the time, huh?"

"Actually, my mother's very supportive of it." The other two looked helplessly shocked. "Eheh, I mean of me having constant sleepovers with friends." They relaxed, now that they knew his mother was still acting like a reasonable middle aged woman. "As long as my grades stay up, she's happy to see me with friends. But no, she has no idea it's anything more than that. Thank Inari."

"It would be kinda scary if she was okay with the three of us."

"Your mother was, it seemed," Hiei commented, slurping his soup loudly.

"My mom's okay with anything."

"Especially when it means Kurama takes care of the house every other week."

"Eh, yeah, that could be the reason. Oh, Kurama, one other thing. Keiko was going to come over today and bother me with school work. We didn't have any plans for today, did we?"

"No, Yusuke, that would be fine."

"Cool! I'm gonna go shower." Yusuke sprang up from the table, giving Kurama a quick kiss on the cheek, then dashed up the stairs. Kurama chuckled and shook his head. He gathered everyone's dishes and set the water running to wash them.

"Okay, tell me. What's wrong?" Hiei looked up from the table, startled.

"What do you mean?"

"You're upset. I know. What happened?" Hiei stiffened, sitting ramrod straight in his chair.

"Yusuke and I had planned to spar today. He forgot."

"Well, sugar, why didn't you say anything?"

"Hn. Why should he care? He would rather play with that girl." Kurama sighed and pulled a chair up next to him and sat down.

"That's not it and you know it. Yusuke is forgetful. He cares for you very much. He just isn't as considerate as he could be. Just remind him about your date." Hiei grimaced at the use of the word 'date.'

"Don't wanna." Kurama stood up again and returned to the dishes.

"Okay, then I will. Yusuke's an energetic boy. He can do both things in one day." Hiei frowned deeply, but didn't object.

"Oh, and could you move that plant into the bedroom? I want to keep an eye on it until I can find out what it is." Kurama heard Hiei pushing his chair back, letting the legs roughly scrape across the tile floor, as he obeyed the command.

"Hey, fox, there's a note on here. I didn't notice it before."

"Oh?" Kurama dried the last dish and turned around, taking the note from Hiei. He scanned it quickly, then did a double take.

"Oh my."

"What?" Hiei tried to peer around him to see the note himself.

"It seems to be from one of my classmates."

"A girl?"

"Mm, yes. She just asked me to a dance the other day. This must be a plea for me to change my mind. But... if it's a demonic plant, I wonder where she got it." Kurama heaved an unhappy sigh. "I can't do anything about it until I find out what it is. This is so inconvenient."

"Want me to just burn it for you?" Hiei held up a hand with a small flame.

"I'm afraid no. Some plants actually thrive when exposed to fire. Who knows what this one will do?" He stuffed the note in his pocket, pulled off the apron he had been wearing, and gathered up the plant. He trudged upstairs, Hiei right behind him.

In his room, he set the plant on his desk, where it would be in neither full sun nor excessive darkness. His bathroom was attached and they could clearly hear the sounds of Yusuke showering. Kurama turned to Hiei with bright mischief in his eyes.

"What do you say we delay Yusuke's shower a bit? I'm sure Keiko won't be coming over for another few hours. After all, it's still early." Hiei answered with a smirk and the demon pair snuck into the bathroom.

* * *

"No way, Keiko! I'm not gonna spend my Saturday studying Algebra! History was bad enough," Yusuke argued, while Keiko half ignored him to exchange the books on the living room table for the ones in her bag.

"Yusuke, you're failing math. You _need_ to study it, weekend or not. Besides, do you have something better to do right now?"

"Hell yes! Anything would be better than math. What about you? Can't you go make out with Shizuru or something?"

"YUSUKE!" Keiko smashed her open palm into his face, knocking him over. Kurama chuckled as he walked thought the room, carrying a basket of laundry.

"Good to know that some things never change." As an afterthought, he paused and faced the pair. "And Yusuke, you _did_ agree to spar with Hiei today. Don't forget, please." Yusuke rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, nervously.

"Me? Forget? Never," he assured, looking guilty. No one was convinced.

"I should be going, then. I don't want to interrupt your plans."

"Not at all. I insist you stay for dinner. The boys can fight later this evening." He continued out of the room to start the laundry. Yusuke excused himself from Keiko's company, who understood all too well, and chased after Kurama like a duckling.

"Hey, Kurama, does Hiei know I forgot?" Kurama cast him a rather withering look as he sorted the clothing into two piles.

"Where do you think he's been all day?"

"I didn't notice. Where?"

"Up in my room, sulking. Of course he knew."

"Er, should I go talk to him?" Kurama shook his head, knowing Hiei wouldn't have listened.

"I will, later. But Yusuke, there's something you need to think about," he continued, without looking up from the clothes. Yusuke sensed impending lecture doom.

"This relationship of ours is still sorting itself out, you know that. And sometimes it seems as though you feel you can get away with anything. We're all friends, Yusuke, very close ones. But romantically, we're all still trying to win one another over. It might behoove you to try a little harder." Yusuke blushed sheepishly and nodded. He stayed where he was, watching Kurama's hands moving, for a long moment. Then, rashly, he grabbed one of them and pulled it to him face, kissing the back of it.

"Want any help?" Kurama smiled, unable to remain serious in the face of Yusuke's cumbersome affection. He nodded and the two continued the chore together.

* * *

Keiko sighed and got up from the table, stretching her tired legs. She'd been abandoned again, it seemed, despite the silliness of being abandoned inside an occupied house. Yusuke had a bad habit of running off to spend time with the boys, boyfriend or otherwise, and forgetting the girl he had been with before. Now that there were no romantic inclinations between the two friends, it hurt her less, but it was still wildly aggravating. Curious and deciding to go against her own sense of manners, she ventured up the stairs and peered around until she found Kurama's room, which was open.

Hiei was sitting in the window, leaning against the frame of it, staring outside. When she entered the room, he slowly turned to face her, a painfully blank expression on his face.

"What do you want?"

"I'm not sure. I just thought I'd come find you." Hiei didn't say anything, but turned back to the outside world, ignoring her. She was actually a little impressed that he left her at his back. It seemed like something he would only do for special people.

"Hiei-san, about Yusuke," she started, uneasily. He tilted his head in such a way as to indicate that he was listening. "Well, I know he's an idiot. But he's got a good heart. And he's crazy about you. He just doesn't know what to do with himself." Hiei grunted in response, shrugging his shoulders a little; he agreed, more or less.

"But he's not breakable. So, I guess what I'm saying is, when he's acting like a jerk, just smack him one. He'll get it."

"Hiei, dinner! Oh, Keiko, so this is where you ran off to."

"I'm sorry, Kurama-san. I just came up to talk to Hiei-san. I'll go down and bother Yusuke now." Keiko exited, counting herself as lucky for having a patient host.

"Hiei, I wanted to talk-"

"No need. I did," Hiei said, cutting him off, as he slid back into the room from his window perch. "What's for dinner?"

"It was Yusuke's night to pick, so it's Chinese take-out. Acceptable?" Hiei snarled, but didn't object any further.

"Yusuke, you have terrible taste in food too!" Keiko was complaining loudly in the kitchen as Kurama and Hiei rejoined them. It was funny to see her, someone who was normally so polite and composed, freely tossing decorum aside. Kurama found it strangely heartwarming because it made her like family. And family had become a treasure he coveted above all else. Though, right then, the family was coveting something else.

"Dibs on the crispy noodles!"

"Yusuke, leave some for everyone else."

"Could you pass the steamed rice, please?"

"Didn't you get any spicy chicken?"

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Yare yare..."


End file.
